whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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