clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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