she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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