She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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