I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
