i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize