I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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