Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize