TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
