i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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