So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
