you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
