I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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