some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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