Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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