I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
