Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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