I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
