I can't watch pbs sober anymore
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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