oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
