so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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