She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My breasts were aching with rage.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
