my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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