based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
