i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
