haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
