Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
