remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
