please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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