so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
