That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
