Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
