I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
