you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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