I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
