I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
