There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
