it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
