Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have already put on my inside pants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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