Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
