AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
