two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
