Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
