Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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