He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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