You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
