Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
