did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This house was built for laser tag.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
