what day is it and did you see me today?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
