my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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