Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
