found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
