Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
