He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
