if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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