her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize