Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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