It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
