party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
