Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize