What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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