She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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