i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize