When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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