You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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