If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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