I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
