Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
