WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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